Recent police logs indicate that a new gang has been formed and is making strong efforts to infiltrate everyday life here in the Bay Area. This new gang—known on the streets as The Cornellians—seems to have as its main goal to raise the educational bar for everyone they come in contact with.
The public should be warned of the dangers of associating with this new gang. Even the smallest interaction or casual contact can lead to a desire to read, have meaningful discussions and, even worse, the uncontrollable desire to check their emails on a daily basis and to blog every chance they get.
If anyone sees members of this gang, they should not try to stop them on their own. This gang can be dangerous and affect permanent changes on anyone they come into contact with. Please contact the professionals to deal with them by emailing The Ivy League Connection at